Location: Los Angeles, California

Sunday, July 09, 2006

A Reflection on Soccer via Zidane

This moment in today's World Cup game pretty much sums up soccer for me... who head-butts another man in the chest? What is this? Wrestling? When these players aren't being thugs, they're on the ground whining about their supposed injuries.

What's worse about soccer is that it's simply silly and boring. How many games ended up being decided with penalty kicks? That's like ending a basketball game in a free-throw shoot-out.

Here's an easy solution: no goalies. This would allow teams to score anywhere from 5-10 goals (and don't think it would be any more, for the players rarely kick a shot that's blocked by the goalie). But of course such an idea would be ridiculed by soccer fans.

During each World Cup, the media tries to convince us that this will be the decade that soccer catches on with American kids. But most American kids play soccer for a year or two and then quickly realize what a dumb sport it is. They then move on to more interesting athletic aspirations, such as baseball, basketball, football, golf, cycling, bowling, swimming, ping pong, frisbee, lacrosse, arm-wrestling, poker, archery, jenga, and competitive eating.

So thank goodness the American children are smart enough to avoid soccer - it means we won't have to hear about it again until 2010.


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