Location: Los Angeles, California

Saturday, May 26, 2007

At World's End is a Dud

That was pretty damn awful.

- Jack's role has been severely reduced, and when he is on the screen, he's become a parody of himself. His freshness has vanished.

- Still recycling jokes from the first movie.

- The reliance on using the monkey for, what, six jokes? Oh crap, we need a joke here... well, let's use the monkey! People like cute monkeys!

- So many plot-lines... betrayals, counter-betrayals, counter-counter-betrayals... it became incomprehensible.

- The corny homage to the western genre before the final battle begins.

- The corny homage to "Attack of the 50 Foot Woman."

- Keith Richards on screen for 90 seconds, doing nothing.

- Being able to understand about 70% of what Davy Jones said, and 30% of what Chow Yun-Fat said.

- The huge buildup for Calypso, which leads to absolutely nothing.

- Jack's sudden emergence as the greatest acrobat on earth.

- Not being able to tell which ship was which... which ship represented who... who was on which ship... and not really caring to try to figure it out anyways, because you just knew someone was going to unleash another betrayal and throw everything out of whack.

- Lord Beckett's slow-mo scene. That had to have cost millions, and for what?

- Elizabeth's "let's fight for freedom" speech.

Ugh, ugh, ugh... this makes the first film look like a stroke of genius.

Rating: *1/2 (out of ****)


Anonymous Steve said...

Man, you're right, this Pirates was pretty darn dismal. I agree with every one of your complaints one hundred percent. For me the most annoying aspects were the utterly pointless Keith Richards cameo, the Calypso nonsense and worst of all, the who's on which ship nonsense.

I also hated the way the first 90 minutes had absolutely no consequence on the final 40 minutes. They could have completely cut out the whole Shanghai subplot and nothing would have been lost. I know the stuff with Jack being held prisoner by the indigenous tribe in beginning of Dead Man's Chest (which I enjoyed a great deal more than you did if I remember correctly) was essentially pointless but at least it was funny and thrilling, this was nothing but talking in circles.

For me, the last five minutes of the movie - in which Depp gets to showboat his comedic skills without incomprehensible plot constraints - are by far the most exhillerating and entertaining moments in the film. How sad that the third entry would prove to be so bland, timid and unimaginative. As wacko as it was, at least Spider-Man 3 sported all sorts of bold and unpredictable kookiness.

6:34 PM  

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